You can always talk with your therapist about putting more time between sessions and seeing how you feel. Keep in mind that you don’t need to stop abruptly. “If it feels like you’ve stalled, or that you’re not getting anything from your sessions that you wouldn’t be able to get from a conversation with someone else, it might be time to take a break.” “If you’re continuing to feel like you’re learning more about yourself, or you’re gathering new information and resources, it’s usually a sign that you’re still getting something out of therapy,” she continues. “Does it feel like you accomplished what you set out to accomplish? If so, have you identified new goals along the way that you could shift to instead?” To tell the difference, Rapoport recommends thinking back to your first session. “As a therapist, we want to work ourselves out of a job,” says Small.īut before you quit, make sure you’re ending therapy because you truly got what you needed out of your sessions, and not just because you’re dissatisfied with your therapist.Ī 2019 study of 99 adolescents ages 11 to 17, for example, found that people who ended therapy out of dissatisfaction had poorer outcomes than those who left because they felt they “got what they needed.” It’s perfectly normal to feel like you don’t need therapy after a while. So, if you used to find it easy to think of things to talk about, and now you’re not, it might be a sign you’ve reached an end point. Psychotherapy isn’t meant to last forever. Consider therapy your safe place to talk through those things you’d otherwise avoid. We often avoid talking about things that are uncomfortable, painful, or difficult, and yet when we let them fester, they get worse. “It’s usually a good sign of where the trouble is.” “Sometimes I ask clients to think about what they’d least like to talk about that day,” says Rapoport. It’s OK to feel whatever you’re feeling, and it’s definitely OK to bring it up in therapy. But therapy is exactly the place to explore all our thoughts and feelings, even the ones we feel like we shouldn’t be having.įor example, lots of people think they’re not entitled to be upset about the pandemic because they haven’t experienced as many hardships, like job loss or the death of a loved one, and yet they’re still having a hard time coping with its impacts. We all censor ourselves and judge our feelings. Maybe it’s something you think is “insignificant” or “stupid.” This could be something you’re ashamed of thinking, or something you think is “silly” to worry about. “And sometimes,” she continues,” what you need at the moment is someone to allow you the space to just vent.” “I actually tell my clients to think of their therapy time as the ‘Room of Requirement’ from Harry Potter - you get to get out of it whatever you are most needing that day.” “Therapy sessions really are meant to be as tailored as possible to what you’re needing at any given moment,” says Sol Rapoport, a marriage and family therapist working with UCLA’s Behavioral Wellness Center. It’s OK if you went in thinking you’d talk about your relationship and instead spent the whole session venting about your boss. The truth is, what you need from therapy changes day to day. Focus on how you’re feeling in the present, and just say how you feel - even if what you’re feeling is just, “I didn’t really want to take this hour for therapy today because I’m slammed at work.” You might have felt sad, angry, or depressed during the week, but if you’re not feeling that way right now, you don’t have to start with that.
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